7 Dollars Pay
by Rot-Chan
Summary: Kakashi, desperate to get his Icha Icha collector's item, takes a D-rank mission. Baby-sitting doesn't seem that bad - until he meets the demon child Sasuke, who hates ice cream, the mall, and crusts on his 'sammich'. Oh boy. KakaSasu humor; one-shot.


**Title**: 7 Dollars Pay

**Author**: Shelby [aka FrenchBeats/dirtyicecream]

**Summary**: Kakashi, desperate to get his Icha Icha collector's item, takes a D-rank mission. Baby-sitting doesn't seem that bad - until he meets the demon child Sasuke, who hates ice cream, the mall, and crusts on his 'sammich'. Oh boy.

**Genre**: humor/general

**Rating**: high K+

**Notes: **Not technically AU, but this does have the mall and other AU places, telephones, and DVDs. This is dedicated to all baby-sitters who've had the worst kids imaginable to baby-sit, even if they seem really cute. Remember to leave a review; it's TLC, because I have exams and a lot to deal with right now, so I'm pretty sad. Merci.

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::10:00 AM::

The little boy in front of Kakashi can't be more than seven years old; he is wearing dark blue rain boots and a ruffled gray coat. It's the hair that's so funny, Kakashi chuckles behind his palm. Yes – definitely the hair.

Kakashi's agreed to take a D-rank mission on his day off, because he is just twenty dollars short of his new Icha Icha collectors item. The 'Extra $$$' jar in his kitchen, where all the money he obtained from doing odd jobs like assisting little old ladies across the street or saving children and their kittens from burning buildings is all spent.

When Kakashi reads the memo the Third gives him, he stares for a moment at the word written messily on the scroll, then looks up, incredulous.

"Baby-sit. Baby-sit?"

The Third says serenely,"Kakashi – you requested a D-rank mission, isn't that correct?"

He has no choice but to nod, even though this isn't what the 20 year old ANBU quite had in mind . . . . Technically, it is his day off, and technically, he should be able to choose, but . . . .

Ah, well. No use arguing. Especially when Kakashi sees the name beside the request – or rather, the red and white fan symbol. Uchiha?

And so here he is, with a little child, named . . . Sasuke. Okay then. The boy is quiet, but seems bright enough; his gray eyes shine as they drink in Kakashi's odd appearance, with his gray mask and hitate covering his eye.

"Who are you supposed to be?" The Uchiha asks calmly, shrugging off the raincoat onto the floor; it pools at his feet.

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Well, today I'm supposed to be baby-"

Uchiha Sasuke frowns (though Kakashi admits that it is sort of endearing, in a brash and obnoxious way) and says, "Don't say the word _baby_ around me, because I'm not a baby. And take my coat, please."

Well, this will be interesting.

(One silver haired man with perverted thoughts, plus a chicken haired boy with an attitude, equals a very eccentric day.)

::12:00 PM::

Kakashi has completed countless A and B rank missions; walked into fiery infernos to save orphans (here we go with the fires again . . .), and braved breaking up with his girlfriends over the phone. But when the little terror known as Sasuke is throwing out DVDs behind his back and rifling through his magazines, Kakashi can't seem to stop him.

Sasuke frowns and points to a voluptuous woman inside KISS KISS, LOVE and says, "What is this woman doing to that dog?"

Now Kakashi snatches it away, despite the little boy's intense glare. "Now, now, no looking at adult reading material."

Sasuke gives an annoyed sigh. Then he suddenly stops rifling for a moment and Kakashi thinks, _Thank God_ -

"Don't you have like . . . any kid stuff? How can you not have any_ kid stuff?" _Sasuke asks incredulously, his adorable eyes glaring.

Kakashi sighs, exasperated. The kid does have a point there. "Well, I'm not exactly used to having kids in my house." Why didn't he think to take the boy out for the day? It's not too late; there are a few hours left, but . . . .

First attempt. "Want to go out to the park?"

A snort. "You're that cheap?"

Second attempt. "How about the mall?"

A glare. "What would we even do there? Get ice cream? Because I HATE ice cream."

Third time's a charm? "Uh, we could, um, go to . . . Chuck E. Cheezle's?"

A frown. "It's Cheesie's, and no, I'm not going _there_. That's INFANTILE!"

. . . Ok then. Inside it is. And how does he even know the word _infantile_?

::1:30 PM::

Kakashi has never in his life felt so mentally drained. It was worse than getting stabbed in the leg, or even French kissing with the drunk of the party. This little demon - he's in a league of his own. The Demon Child is simply not satisfied with anything Kakashi gives him.

When Sasuke demands a game, Kakashi gets out the only game he has, _Taboo_ of all things, but Sasuke frowns and shoves the box away.

When Sasuke demands he wants to color, he offers an old newspaper with pens, but because he doesn't have an actual 'box of crayons with the 64 colors and a book', the boy won't comply.

And when Sasuke seems to be quite interested in his bathroom, Kakashi feels his patience slipping.

"Your towels are like the color of puke. And oh, where's your hair color? Don't you dye your hair a different color? It's so gray. And_ u---uug-gg-ly_."

And, at long last, Kakashi _snaps_. "Listen to me, you little heathen." Sasuke drops the towel.

"I've been watching your sorry ass all day long. Your _whining_, your _complaining_, your _moaning_ – I can't stand it any more. You are a spoiled brat! Do what I say, and SHUT YOUR MOUTH, _NOW_!"

Sasuke just stares, his eyes wide and his body still.

Kakashi takes a deep, calm breath and slowly returns to his usual nonchalant demeanor. Well, that was quite the breath of fresh air.

Silence, until the Uchiha says timidly, "It scares me when you yell. I-I'm sorry Kakashi. Can you make me a sammich, Kakashi?"

Oh, not this, anything but this - the innocent act and the puppy dog eyes. The ANBU sighs and rubs his eyes, feeling like having a very long nap and a large jack and coke. He gets out the peanut butter and jelly.

::1:45 PM::

Fifteen minutes later, and Kakashi, whose temples are throbbing and eyes feel like they're on fire, is finished making a PB&J.

"Cut the crusts," Sasuke orders bossily. Exhausted, Kakashi sighs tiredly and hands the knife to the boy. (It's plastic, if you're wondering – Kakashi's not a total idiot.)

"You do it," Kakashi says and sets down the plate in front of Sasuke. He sits across from him in the tiny kitchen. Sasuke glares and cuts them with the knife awkwardly. He takes small bites, and might just be the slowest eater the ANBU has ever seen.

When Sasuke finishes he says thoughtfully, "My oka-san makes these a lot better than you. You really suck. You're not going to have kids, are you?" It's said in a if-you-do-they'll-be-dead-in-a-week sort of tone.

"No kids. I was thinking about it . . . but now I've changed my mind."

The Devil's Spawn says after a moment, "Oh well. You're my new friend Kakashi. You're my _best_ baby-sitter." His smile is to-die-for already.

Well, this is a shock. "And why is that, Sasuke?" Really, Kakashi just has to hear this.

"Because you don't _always_ do what I say," Sasuke replies, and Kakashi feels a little bad about screaming at the top of his lungs earlier.

Much to the surprise of both of them, Kakashi reaches over the table and ruffles the boy's very strange hair. Sasuke seems shocked but settles back into his seat and tries not to smile at the weird man, whose temper goes even farther than his aniki's, Sasuke can't resist liking him a little bit.

::2:15 PM::

A half hour, Kakashi says as calmly as possible, "Well Sasuke, I suppose it's about time for us to get going." (It takes much of his willpower not to say, 'Time to get out of my house, you little brat!')

Meanwhile, Mikoto Uchiha, who is finally back from the press conference at the police station, goes to the Hokage's mansion to pick up Sasuke, twisting her apron in her hands (does she ever change out of that thing?) and hoping everything went well.

Her son has a tendency to . . . give baby-sitter's a 'hard time'. The last woman who sat for them had practically run out of the house when Fugaku and she arrived home; the house had smelt slightly of burned hair, and the socket near the bathroom was destroyed. Needless to say, she had been worried this time.

When she walks in she sees Sasuke, whose face lights up as soon as he sees her. "Mother! You're back!" Sasuke says and runs over to her, hugging around her waist.

Mikoto smiles at Kakashi, until she hears Sasuke sniffling into her apron, "M-mother, Kakashi was t-the worst sitter ever! He had really bad books about lovey-mushy stuff about girls who had grapefruits in their s-shirts who were kissing dogs, and, and, he made me eat my sammich with crusts!"

Kakashi's eyes widen, his gaze darting between the glower of the angry mother and the frown of the Third. What a clever little bastard.

"Well then. We're certainly not going to be hiring _you_ any longer. Here - this is all you're worth," Mikoto says angrily, shoving only fourteen yen into his hand, after four hours of hard labour.

Before Sasuke goes off with his mother he walks back to Kakashi, hands behind his back.

"I do this with _all_ my baby-sitters. Sorry Kakashi. But . . . you're still my favorite one."

Sasuke pinky-swears with Kakashi, which makes him even more adorable over his true evil. He gives the ANBU another mischievious smile before running off to the call of his mum.

::Epilogue::

Kakashi's fourteen yen (seven dollars pay) wasn't enough to buy the collector's item.

What was the collector's item? It was the woman featured in all volumes of the Icha Icha series, whose moaning mouth opened as a peanut candy dispenser.

Eventually, Kakashi is assigned a new team of genin.

"Uchiha . . . Sasuke . . . ." Kakashi smiles beneath the mask. Yes. He'll really enjoy torturing – er, teaching him.

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[**End Note:** Hope you enjoyed. How did you like cute, evil younger Sasuke? Review? So pushy, but I love reading them; they're like hero-in. btw --Chuck E. Cheezles is what my uncle called it once. He's pretty clueless with kid things.]

-Shelby


End file.
